TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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