Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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