yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
