She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my being single is dangerous.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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