i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize