can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
