I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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