So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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