you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
