Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
40s are totally the cure
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize