he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
