you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize