a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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