it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
