her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
