i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
