Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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