If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm just crazy horny about you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
