Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
