I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
