so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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