he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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