He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize