Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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