High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
