I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
