so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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