Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
