If i come over, it means nothing
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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