Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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