I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
