i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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