Just took my morning after pill in the library
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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