this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
