My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
