I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
