I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
