so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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