I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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