I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
