Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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