I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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