She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
