he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
