can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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