If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
