can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
