We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
