who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
