I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
