don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
