im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
