never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
