hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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