the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
