Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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