pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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