big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
