Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
