i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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